Center of Gravity

I won’t even mention how fresh everything feels outside the confines of the apartment; the sea of motorbikes, chickens everywhere– living, dead, or somewhere in between– a symphony of honks, dogs barking, roosters crowing, and construction. So, if ever it feels like things have gone back to what they were, all the new things I am experiencing and will experience flood into my head. I welcome the madness that is Hanoi.

Today marks the end of my fifth day in Hanoi, Vietnam.

Traveling with limited funds has forced me to postpone my backpacking travels and return to a somewhat civilian life– at least in the sense of routines, a room to call my own, possessions beyond what I can carry on my back, etc. I can’t deny that it all feels a little contradictory. Originally, I set out on my journey to ditch the very things that I now find myself searching for in Hanoi: a job, a motorbike, work clothes.

While backpacking, I felt like a meteor floating through space. At times, I’d crash into something or the gravity of something else would pull me this way or that. I enjoyed having no plan. Now, as resident of Vietnam’s capital, Hanoi, I found myself searching for the very things I ditched three months prior.

At first, I worried that life was doubling back on itself, about to revert to the status quo.

However, this wasn’t the case. Stepping outside my room on the fourth floor of a five-story house, everything felt fresh despite the pollution– the sea of motorbikes, the chickens and loud dogs, the labyrynthian maze complex within which our apartment was situated. So far, I welcomed the madness that is Hanoi. Amidst all of this, I was soon afflicted by the prospect of having to find a job in a foreign country. The beat of the new few days would consist of cover-letters, resumes, and demo classes.

This is a balancing act, albeit a new one in a very different environement. In trying to find balance. This is exciting as hell as it gives me the chance to pick and choose what I want in my life again.